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The Lost Rules of Living in NYC:

- Peter - Friday, January 24th, 2003 : goo

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-Whenever you see a really large space, you have to daydream what it would be like to have that space as your apartment. This especially works well for warehouses, storefronts and firehalls.

-If you ride the same train every day, learn the general vicinities of the doors when the train stops. 9 times out of 10, that means youll be waiting right there to cut everyone else off when its time to board.

-While waiting for the train, be sure to walk to the platform's edge several times a minute in order to see if theres a train approaching from uptown. if its not there, shake your head, stare at the floor, and walk back to where you were leaning against the wall.

-Yell at people when they litter, but feel free to flick your cigarette butts anywhere you please.

-Live Democrat because youre a liberal, but vote Republican because you prefer living in a city that wont eat you alive.

-Spend an entire paycheck to pay your rent, and then realize that your entire check only paid 75% of that month's rent.

-Honestly consider Chinese delivery food a square, homecooked meal.

-Yell "BACK DOOR!!!!" at the top of your lungs when the bus driver hesitates more than .035 seconds to activate the rear-door opener.

-realize why taking "the L, transfer to the 2" gives Mos Def serious cred.
-Always talk about moving out of the City, but never do.

Tell me some subtle rules about your city. Enighten me.

This article has been viewed 13383 times in the last 6 years


hool: 24th Jan 2003 - 23:17 GMT

toronto

- don't make eye contact in the streets and for the love of fucking god do not under any circumstances talk to anyone even if they talk to you first

- if you're temporarily disoriented, look for the CN tower , then you know you're looking south

- nosorryidonthaveanychange

- take the litter-free streets for granted

- be dispassionate but marginally content about the city

- feel safe anywhere in downtown at any time

- bitch about the subway shutting down at 2 a.m. every night

- avoid cutting through chinatown on hot summer afternoons (though i think this is universal)

- no, you can't park there

- enjoy hands-free driving on any street that has streetcar tracks - most cars' tires fit the slightly sunken tracks just right, no need to steer

- kensington market is a good place to go for just about anything, especially the people

- yonge street does not end

- smoke phat blunts in public (soon) with only a simple fine to fear as consequence

Peter: 25th Jan 2003 - 02:16 GMT

"if you're temporarily disoriented, look for the CN tower, then you know you're looking south."

i used to say exactly the same thing about the World Trade Center...

TheCityGuide.net: 25th Jan 2003 - 18:38 GMT

Peterborough

- people from outside the parkway's should be treated as outsiders and most likely have webbed feet

- If someone is driving badly they are either an outsider or of an ethnic minority (i.e. "f*g afghans!")

- You don't want a copy of The Big Issue

- At night, do not stray from Broadway. Get a cab

- No, the cabbie doesn't speak english

- Avoid Bretton, Paston, Welland and other high crime suburbs unless you have scored with one of thier females.

Laney B.: 1st Apr 2003 - 17:38 GMT

Hahah, I thought "Back Door" was just a Philly thing.

Peter: 1st Apr 2003 - 19:30 GMT

I think it will always persevere in any city where people have little patience, heh.

Jo-Ann: There is always Rays famous pizza!

K-Dogg: 4th Nov 2003 - 14:59 GMT

Appreciate that some mother f*ckers are making you look good when you walk through the wrong hood and protecting you from those who are to noo good

msm: 0

trismegistus: 18th Jul 2004 - 23:48 GMT

Vancouver:
outside all things are common property, patios count as outside.

ramy: i wont to see six

Peter: 22nd Oct 2004 - 19:56 GMT

are you the guy who searches this site every day for "sixy photo"? wtf is 'sixy'? stop doing it. perhaps youre looking for "sexy photos"? there are none of those here, unless youre really into cities.

husaam: hiiiiiiiiiiii

jas:

naj a la plage: 26th Mar 2005 - 23:14 GMT

Re: The Lost Rules of Living in NYC:

Philly

-when waiting to cross on a red light...walk as far out into the street as possible without getting hit.

-just jaywalk

-bitch about SEPTA(mass transit) and its service, or lack thereof.

-move with extreme caution around moving cabs

-move with extreme caution around cars with New Jersey plates

-blame all shitty driving on New Jersey drivers

-when exiting from the back of a bus yell "back door" even if you didn't pull the cord.

-soft pretzels=suitable for breakfast lunch or dinner

-"you's" is proper pluralization

-"jawn" is a pronoun

hasslehoff: 25th Apr 2005 - 14:18 GMT

peter: haah 'sixy' has entered the top searches list. wtf is sixy anyway?

Peter: 26th Apr 2005 - 13:04 GMT

some guy with a middle-eastern ip address searches this site- every freaking day- for "sixy", "sixy photo" and "sixy woman photo". i can only think he must be phoenetically challeneged enough to think that "sixy" is the word "sexy", i dunno. the weirdest part is why he would repeatedly search this site for "sixyness", as this is obviously not a porn site, heh... oh well, to each their own i suppose.

hasslehoff: 27th Apr 2005 - 09:06 GMT

You gotta admire his persistence though Peter. Perhaps we should post some "sixy woman photos" just for him.

elaine: 27th Apr 2005 - 10:25 GMT

yeah, I was going to post another tree in blossom and call it New Graf Trux after a comment by Jamie, but that was probably less funny and more cruel

elaine: 27th Apr 2005 - 10:27 GMT

the rule is if you are here you are a londoner, even if you have a return ticket to somewhere else, loads of people do, because rail tickets are usually cheaper if bought as returns from the other place than if bought from london, and lots of londoners spend plenty time somewhere else, whether their 'home' town or the country or the seaside, friends, family, whatever

Kitty: 16th Oct 2005 - 01:25 GMT

I've been thinking about the nature of living in a big city (and I've lived in NYC for 12 years now) and it's funny how you learn to just roll with everything thrown at you. The train is late, you're scrolling through your mental picture of the subway map before the announcement has finished echoing around the platform. You show no embarrassment digging through other peoples castoffs in the street. I think we're more like NYC rats than we'd like to admit. To be really successful here, you've got to be opportunistic and resourseful.

StripesA4: 26th Oct 2005 - 07:10 GMT

ight i got a couple:

1) u save a quaurter by taking the free paper instea of buying one and think you're savvy.

2) u check the walls of an unfamilair neighborhood for graffditit so see who runs the hood.

3) u hate thre downtown trains in da moring ansd the uptown in da afteroon cuz of da kids

4) when u know the exact decible to talk to a token booth to get your message a cross

5) your pizza spot is the best

6) u know the train and bus routes by heart and laugh when people r lost

7) you ignore people handing out flyers in da streets klike they werent there.

8) you see more than 100 mexicans everyday

9.) uve eaten a meal for less than a dolla,r butter bagel and queater juice

10.) uve stepped on dog shit and cursed out lioud like you were crazy

11.) youve stared down people for the doors in your train when a trAIN is flying by yours in the tunnels like the 1 and the 2

12.) u got more resturant flyers in your lobby than mail

StripesA4: 26th Oct 2005 - 07:14 GMT

uve seen someone punched in da face

your know iof 5 orginial rays

Peter: 26th Oct 2005 - 15:45 GMT

hahahaha, word. i think ive done most of those thigns already today.

gotta second the hating schoolkids on the train, and the pizza/graf spots.

and after yesterday's rain, our lobby is paper mache'd with freaking menus and flyers.

chris: 15th Jul 2007 - 20:47 GMT

1.you can buy beer at almost any age...
2.any thing you want in the world is accesable in NYC u just have to look hard...
3.youve seen a bum that covers himself in garbage bags..

dustin: 31st Dec 2007 - 22:25 GMT

st thomas, usvi

drinking and driving is ok,
talking on cell ph while driving is not!
all while driving on the left side of the road!

John Boom: 26th Feb 2008 - 02:42 GMT

Portland, OR

U start to look more and more or your surroundings on the MAX
U see a bum for every regular person
U see the service at VooDoo Doughnut get worse everyyear, but you still go
U see more and more highrise Condos and you know the city is changing, you just hope its for the best

jack: 26th Feb 2008 - 03:31 GMT

in lafayette high school, you walk out the door and down the hall backwards so if the hall guard spots you you just start walking forward and it looks like your walking to your classroom.

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