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All the Whores Shall Go to Heaven
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Woody Allen wrote a short story called the 'Whore of Mensa" and so the term "Intellectual whore" came into being. This also gave birth to the "Ladder theory". There are other similar theories also like the "Theory of fluctuating attractions", or the "Caveman theory". The idea behind all these theories is to find the reasons men and women attract, accept or reject each other and sometimes start reacting or acting in an uncertain or a certain way. Gone are the days when you could see a hot specimen, club them in the head and drag them back to your abode by their legs.
The Intellectual whores, the topic at hand, are almost always men. I say this, maybe, because, I am a man or a whore myself. Women are called the intellectual pimps, they keep intellectual whores around them for many reasons, like self aggrandizement, intellectual simulation, emotional support, gossip, attention, material gains or inexpensive entertainment. Doesn't it seem like a looser's connotation. But isn't it true that all of us men have been intellectual whores at one time or another. When we want to get intimate, need more than just a friendly evening out, sit in the jacuzzi side by side rather than sit face to face, do a bottle of red with arms around the waist, and want to lay our heads on someone's shoulders, but are not allowed, we have no other choice left, but to play the whore game. We stick around. Some of us might tend to call it quits, but most of us stick around, helplessly waiting for a signal, or a slip. Deep down inside a single animal instinct keeps flourishing, keep surfacing, and keeps getting ignored, denied, and even crushed. The pimp has to be smart and tactful to keep an intellectual whore, she has to keep the whore enthralled by a false implied promise of future intimate activity.
This has to be kept in mind that Intellectual pimps are not always bad people. They are just committing a victim less crime. They need friends too. They have a right to choose. Whores should learn that not every pimp is interested in the way a whore wants. Pimps are bad people only if they are not sure of what they are doing. They have learnt that even if they were just moderately attractive, the general horniness of males is going to bug them all their lives. They know from experience that males will not even try to understand the true person behind their bodies. They get tired of being approached just because of the obsession. Even the hottest woman entertains fantasies of a man who really wants her because of her inner attributes, not just the vital statistics. So every intellectual pimp wants to know that she is good for something besides physical involvement, and thus an intellectual whore is born.
Additionally, despite what the women's lib tell you, girls do actually feel incredibly attracted to dominant, confident men. The theory of fluctuating attractions says, that when you approach a woman she is impressed by your confidence, later when you start to fall for her, and start acting like her puppy, it turns her off immensely. Your attraction builds while hers falls. Later somewhere in the game, you even forget how to dance the dance. We all face different levels of stress in our daily lives. She wants to talk at lengths to process her stress, she does not really want to find a solution. You want to ponder, be left alone, working on a solution to de-stress yourself. When you don't find a solution, you need a distraction. A bigger stress requires bigger distraction. The irony is that we are what we are. We think we should do what shows what we actually are. Sadly, it does not always work for the best.
Intellectual whore does things that a boyfriend wont do, provides a distraction, goes places a boyfriend wont go. He will be the emotional crutch. He will be entertaining, smart and funny. He discusses chick flick movies with enthusiasm, asks you to accompany him to every one of them, and even buys Dave Eggers as a gift. He listens to you for hours, gives advice on boyfriends, and likes you for you. You could have gone out with as many outlaw bikers as you wanted, but you didn't, even if you did, the whore doesn't care, does not judge. A whore understands your needs. A whore gives you the feeling of being intelligent and cultured. Why else would a sweet guy stick around with no intention of a reward.
Dallas Lynn read the "Whore of Mensa" and coined the "Ladder theory". The intellectual whore never gets to learn the ladder theory from a pimps perspective. In contemporary folk psychology, the ladder theory explains the ways in which men and women evaluate each other on first impressions. The decision is made quickly and to prove to be self-righteous is almost always final. A man creates a single ladder whereas a woman has two of them. A man meets Miss XYZ and likes her. Later somewhere he meets Miss ABC and likes her too. XYZ and ABC are put on different rungs of the same ladder. There are others, Miss PQR and Miss STU and Miss LMN on the same ladder too, strategically placed on the same single ladder. Some are on the top and some are at the bottom and some are in between. A man's ladder shows that he wants just one thing and he is nothing more than a pig.
A woman needs two things, an aggressive sexual partner and an intellectually stimulating entertaining partner. If both qualities are not found in a single man, which is unfortunately very rare, she will seek out two separate relationships. She will make two ladders - a real ladder and a friends ladder. She keeps putting men on different ladders according to her self-devised rating criteria. Men are not told which ladder they are on unless they try to jump from one ladder to another. While trying to jump from one ladder to another men often fall into an abyss. An abyss is below the bottom, holding the two ladders. The whore always wanting to jump from the friends ladder to the real ladder, keeps hanging on to the friends ladder and knows that there is no way to come out of the abyss, aka the dustbin. He knows that a fall in the abyss creates awkwardness and an end of the story. You just try to move up the ladder, which ever you belong to, hoping that at the top, your ladder might join the other one.
So deep down inside every intellectual whore has a hidden agenda. If a pimp feels, otherwise, try if you like a simple exercise. Go to a place with your whore and spend the night together. Many pimps and whores have shared the same bed many a times and still stayed pimps and whores. Frankly speaking, a whore and a pimp can stay friends only if the whore is gay, or if the whore does not find the pimp attractive or if the whore has someone way up above the pimp on the ladder. If the three scenarios don't exist and you want to find the answer, be honest with yourself, and go to the washroom before going to bed, and come out naked and ask for what most whores have had on the hidden agenda for ages. If the whore says, he does not want to risk the beautiful friendship, I am proven wrong. If he complies, what's the big deal, you loose a whore that's true, but doesn't it prove that we were all wrong...
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jack: 20th Jun 2007 - 18:16 GMT
woody allen, although a great movie director and entertaining movie person. is my last idea of a man with knowledge of women. calling men and women whores and pimps is a low class, low self esteem, and desiring to be hemingwayesque in writing. it fails. men and women are just that, men and women, male and female, if you are fortunate to fall in love with the right woman, all the better. a couple, meet, are attracted to each other, then talk, then decide if they want to go on with this meeting in further meetings. the man is a boy, he wants to play, the woman is a mother, she wants a family, the woman molds the boy into a man through time together. they marry, they have children, the children mold the man into a father, he grows with the children, the mother and the father in later years are now back together as a man and a woman, alone, together and have all those years as war ribbons that have burned them into a single entity, they are husband and wife, man and woman, boy and girl, two once, now one forever. the article is interesting but insulting. thank you and good day.
colavitos ghost: 20th Jun 2007 - 18:59 GMT
"the woman is a mother, she wants a family"
saying this to the right woman would earn you a powerful knee to the groin.
jack: 21st Jun 2007 - 12:58 GMT
look at little girls and boys, did you ever notice boys run around shooting at each other with their fingers, and girls, they are playing with doll houses, dressing their little dolls, serving tea to their stuffed animals, its a natural path for the human species to follow. of course nothing is total and their are career women, military women, and women who prefer women, which i can understand since women are the more beautiful of the species. but still, there deep in the confines of one's inner being, deep in the physio balance that forms their minds, is a mother. that sir is what they are about.
procyon: 22nd Jun 2007 - 00:17 GMT
Jack, I'm not going to knee you in the groin because I love your posts and (in general) commentary, but that's just not true. If TV, family members, and books told little boys that they were supposed to play primarily with dolls, and parents gave little boys dolls as presents, little boys would play primarily with dolls. Personally I preferred robots, spaceships and laser guns. I'm going to shut up now, though, or I'd argue about this all week.
jack: 22nd Jun 2007 - 18:13 GMT
procyon, thx for not kneeing me, and thx for the nice things to say but one last comment and your free to answer this, i never said tv, family or books developed children, i'n tking about little children who develop naturally, without any influence, boys become cowboys, firemen, policemen, soldiers and girls become mothers, nurses, homemakers, but life and family forms them into another person, the adult they become.
christine: 24th Jun 2007 - 05:45 GMT
congratulations jack. the whole life is like a mirror, your own thoughts, ideas and actions are continuously reflecting on your reality.
that is why some people experience life in general and in this case the other gender in certain ways. you have your way and sohail has his way....
colavitos ghost: 24th Jun 2007 - 06:16 GMT
jack, you're commentary here is so misguided that it'd be just about impossible for me to explain all the ways it's wrong. it's nothing against you personally, but your ideas about gender are totally fucked up.
colavitos ghost: 24th Jun 2007 - 06:25 GMT
oh yeah, the one thing that i will address directly is a phrase you use; "children who grow up naturally, without any influence." think about this for a minute. how the hell does a child grow up without any influence? without any influence??? that is IMPOSSIBLE! IMPOOOOOSSSSSIBBBBBLLLE!!!!!
without any influence from their parents, the average child would live only a few hours. and then die. to go even further, without any conscious parental "influence" many fewer children would be born alive than actually are. that is, even for a child to even be born healthy, parental influence has a lot to say. and then from the moment of birth, when a child's social formation begins, the influence of its parents (and every other person they ever see, hear, talk to, or whatever) only increases exponentially. ooof.
christine: 24th Jun 2007 - 12:56 GMT
what about just taking it as a fact that people experience one and the same situation differently....isnt it cool to read how other people look at a certain subject?
have got the impression that some comments go into a direction which leads ages away from the core subject
jack: 25th Jun 2007 - 00:50 GMT
colavito, im sorry for not explaining myself correctly or expounding my statement more fully, when i said a child growing up naturally, i meant with a normal mother and father and family, a loving environment, etc:
ghost of grandin: 25th Jun 2007 - 12:39 GMT
ok i know personal anecdotes are almost totally irrelevant in terms of social theory but, my 'normal' mother and father loved myself and my two sisters well and we all played with blocks, dolls, water guns, spoons, crayons, play-doh and x-men.
seriously though, it's absurd to suggest that children with "normal" parents will assume gender stereotypes, mainly because it implies that the stereotypes occur in some pure/unattainable state of nature instead of recognizing that they are just that -- stereotypes, vast generalizations of behavior based on popular traditions and in this case rampant sexism. some girls play with dolls, some play with guns (although the kid who loves guns is pretty disturbing no matter what gender), some boys play with dolls too (if their parents are totally hung up on gender roles and even allow them to be around dolls), etc.. there is an infinite number of possibilites in terms of what toys a child would select, given an infinite number of choices. but we're still at a point where most children are given a very limited number of choices, mainly because most people agree with jack: normal = boy + gun / girl + doll. but that doesn't make it inherently "natural" or "normal" it just makes it what we're used to. give a kid a ball and he'll play with that, same for a doll, etc.......
christine: 25th Jun 2007 - 21:20 GMT
really interesting, where an articel about All the Whores Shall Go to Heaven can lead...
Sohail Moughal: 29th Jul 2007 - 22:06 GMT
Thanks for all the comments. I am really amused. Personally, I believe that if there is a probability for a thought to exist, leave alone the reality, then it carries a certian weight and hence can not be totally discarded, and has to be told, and has to be shared too.
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