New Retirement Policy

New York, NY - jack - Monday, October 16th, 2006 : goo

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the changing of the plaza. new condo units. this following humorous letter never happened at the plaza but it did happen at my last job.

new retirement policy.

as a result of our recent reorganization, we are going to cut down on the number of personnel.

under the new plan, older employees will go out on early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future plans. therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via early retirement, will be placed into effect immediately.

this program shall be know as "RAPE" (retire aged personnel early). employees who are RAPED will be given the opportunity to seek other jobs within the system, provided that while they are being RAPED, they request a review of their employment records before the actual retirement takes place.

this phase of the operation is called "SCREW" (survey of capabilities of retired early workers).

all employees who have been RAPED or SCREWED may also apply for a trial review. this will be called "SHAFT" (study by higher authority following termination).

this program policy dictates that employees may only be RAPED once and SCREWED twice, but you may get the SHAFT as many times as the Company deems necessary.

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colavitos ghost: this is inappropriate

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