Motorway Haiku: UK (Part One)

Peter: 5th May 2004 - 16:48 GMT

motorway haiku: NYC...

elaine: 13th Apr 2005 - 20:02 GMT

hee hee hee. My brother works at Ikea. I have emailed him to tell him about your poem. He wrote me a poem of his own on the day of the riots as you might imagine. Fancy people rioting for furniture in London nowadays! It took me back. It was like 1981 all over again. Forget speeding - people were parking and climbing down to the store from the flyover! Nice poem BTW.

Jamie: 13th Apr 2005 - 21:42 GMT

Thanks Elaine. Wrote this haiku whilst Ikea were in the process of building a mammoth new distribution centre in Fletton, Peterborough. This undertaking involved the construction of a new junction to the Fletton Parkway, including an elaborate system of access roads beneath the main carriageway. These roadworks, entirely funded by the company, did however cause chaos for many months. But hey we've got a gigantic blue and yellow box that you can see for miles out of the deal.

elaine: 14th Apr 2005 - 08:19 GMT

that will be good for 'the many' while they queue in the traffic waiting to get there, it must calm their nerves, as they itch to part with their money for the furnitures in commune with 'the co-workers'. It is a utopian dream come true, isn't it? Just what Walter Gropius was dreaming of while he was in WW1 trenches. And have fitted kitchens and affordable comfortable seating made us happy? In part, I'd say they have, and there has to be an element of pile em high to sell em cheap for it to work. Nevertheless, the big expansion of Ikea comes at a time of rampaging overbranding on the High Street as well with the globals. Meanwhile Mr Ikea himself stays in a hotel and turns down a great suite in favour of a modest room, his wife is really pissed off - turns out it makes no difference to his pocket, there will be no bill, he owns the hotel!

Jamie: 14th Apr 2005 - 08:41 GMT

It would be if they had bothered to build a store too. Alas it is merely a distribution centre, and we must still travel as far as fine nottinghamshire to partake in frenzied ikeamania. All the muss and fuss with nothing to show for it. Except a few thousand jobs for illegal immigrants undoubtedly.

elaine: 14th Apr 2005 - 09:20 GMT

oooh shame, all the pain and none of the reward. Damn, that's hard

Jamie: 6th May 2005 - 13:00 GMT

Ikea; they suck
Built distribution centre
Forgot to to build store

elaine: 6th May 2005 - 13:53 GMT

i know that particular blue box now you mention it. before my car died and my back banjaxed i used to drive up to brixworth to visit people then hoop over to kings lynn, and i'd see it. i wondered why my shopping addicted friend wasn't appropriately ikea'd up to the eyeballs and she told me of it's impotence

Jamie: 6th May 2005 - 14:10 GMT

yes, the A1139 (Fletton Parkway) majestically meets the A47 somewhere on the east side of town taking one neatly to Kings Lynn.

Jamie: 6th May 2005 - 14:25 GMT

By the way stop stalking me please. You so fancy me.

Peter: 6th May 2005 - 14:27 GMT

the uk has a much better nomenclature system for its motorways than america does. im sure ours made sense way back when, but since teh nationwide interstate highway program in the 1950s, everything got muddled... and now there are like 10 different ways to name major highways/interstates/parkways/turnpikes/roads/streets/avenues and no one can sort which is which, so navigating yourself, say, on a cross-country drive, like ive done before, is a monumental task, if you plan on actually sorting your route ahead of time. even yahoo maps cant figure it out 100% of the time, heh

elaine: 6th May 2005 - 14:31 GMT

london is the centre of the world, that is the main thing to remember, and everything is all about the GPO

elaine: 16th Nov 2005 - 16:33 GMT

if you like, though i was thinking of the general post office

elaine: 16th Nov 2005 - 16:35 GMT

the central post office being the point from which distances are measured

Peter: 16th Nov 2005 - 16:45 GMT

ooh, you should do an entry about the GPO, etc, elaine...

Peter: 16th Nov 2005 - 16:55 GMT

;) sorry, had to say it... a deal: ill do one about nyc's central post office if you do one about london's...

elaine: 16th Nov 2005 - 17:05 GMT

ikea are opening a new store in milton keynes soon. i wonder if they will fancy a little riot?

elaine: 16th Nov 2005 - 17:24 GMT

but peter, what? there's nothing interesting visual to say, and i think we've done the post codes

Peter: 16th Nov 2005 - 17:28 GMT

ive never seen it. maybe some photos? ours is magnificent... thought maybe yours was too?

elaine: 16th Nov 2005 - 17:32 GMT

there is a nice building which no longer belongs to the post office, it is in the city, unsurprisingly.

here is a postbox for you to be getting along with

elaine: 16th Nov 2005 - 17:33 GMT

nooo, it's a nice building, but not as greatbigmassive as that

Catherine Penfold-Waxman: 16th Nov 2005 - 17:39 GMT

This is the inscription around the top of the United States Post Office here in NYC: "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds."
www.usps.com/history/his8.htm