So Fine So Fine So Fine

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A strange girl grabbed my ass a couple of weeks ago.

My Lady and I went to see this band Bison play at a bar in Philly. We know a couple of the guys in the band, so we stuck around after the show to talk and drink.

After a pitcher or two of Yuengling, this girl came up to our group. Let’s call her Patty, because that’s her name. We were hanging out near the jukebox and Patty wanted to pick a few songs. We started chatting with her and she seemed really nice. She even braided Dave’s hair (he’s the singer).

A couple of beers later, she walked up to me. I was sitting at the bar with my arm around My Lady. Patty leaned in and whispered in my ear. She said, “You are so fine so fine so fine.”

I’m not shitting you. It was the strangest thing. She could clearly see that I was sitting with my wife, and my wedding ring was in plain sight. I only had a split second to think of a response.

Possible options:
1. Ignore her
2. Say, “I believe you’ve met my wife…”
3. Say, “I’m flattered, but I’m married.”

She was waiting for me to say something. In my dorkiest squeaky voice I said, “Thank you.” Imagine Screech said it and that’s what it sounded like.

Patty smiled and walked back over toward the jukebox. I assumed she thought I was a complete geek and decided I’m not “so fine” after all.

But it wasn’t over!!

A little later, I was watching some friends play darts and she walked up to me again. This time she whispered in my ear, “I’m going to make you my lover.” Then she squeezed my ass. It wasn’t a pat or a pinch. It was a full on squeeze.

I swear I am not kidding. This time I ignored it. Right after she squeezed, Patty walked off. I sat back down with My Lady and kept drinking. About half an hour later, Patty said goodbye to everyone and left the bar.

My Lady was really cool about it. She knew the girl was probably just drunk and we ended up laughing about the whole thing.

This article has been viewed 3591 times in the last 3 years

Peter: 2nd Nov 2005 - 20:31 GMT

hahahaha... when stuff like this happens, i prefer the smug/brazen approach... i just elbow my wife sitting next to me, chuckle and say something like "hey baby, this weird bitch is pinching my ass! check it out!"

that always does the trick. not that i get my ass pinched alot, but it happens. it seems that some folks are attracted to the challenge of hitting on married folk, and id assume this is true, as ive gotten hit on at least 2-3 times as often after donning the wedding ring than i did before.

odd, that.

its the ones like the girl that unabashedly said "so...?" when i said "im married" (while pointing to my ring, figuring that would make my point loud and clear) that freak me out. i cant imagine why theyd be attracted to the sort of guy that would go for that sort of come-on, but thats just me.

anyway, thanks for the story :)

elaine: 3rd Nov 2005 - 08:09 GMT

"lets call her patty because that's her name"
hahahaha cool.

JJ: 3rd Nov 2005 - 17:06 GMT

Thanks Peter -
You're so right. A wedding ring is like a magnet.

Right on Elaine -
I figured she'd never find this, so there's no need to give her anonymity.


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My Lady and I went to see this band Bison play at a bar in Philly. We know a couple of the guys in the band, so we stuck around after the show to talk and drink. After a pitcher or two of Yuengling, this girl came up to our group. Let’s call her Patty, because that’s her name. We were hanging out near the jukebox and Patty wanted to pick a few songs. We started chatting with her and she seemed really nice. She even braided Dave’s hair (he’s the singer). A couple of beers later, she walked up to me. I was sitting at the bar with my arm around My Lady. Patty leaned in and whispered in my ear. She said, “You are so fine so fine so fine.” I’m not shitting you. It was the strangest thing. She could clearly see that I was sitting with my wife, and my wedding ring was in plain sight. I only had a split second to think of a response. Possible options: 1. Ignore her 2. Say, “I believe you’ve met my wife…” 3. Say, “I’m flattered, but I’m married.” She was waiting for me to say something. In my dorkiest squeaky voice I said, “Thank you.” Imagine Screech said it and that’s what it sounded like. Patty smiled and walked back over toward the jukebox. I assumed she thought I was a complete geek and decided I’m not “so fine” after all. But it wasn’t over!! A little later, I was watching some friends play darts and she walked up to me again. This time she whispered in my ear, “I’m going to make you my lover.” Then she squeezed my ass. It wasn’t a pat or a pinch. It was a full on squeeze. I swear I am not kidding. This time I ignored it. Right after she squeezed, Patty walked off. I sat back down with My Lady and kept drinking. About half an hour later, Patty said goodbye to everyone and left the bar. My Lady was really cool about it. She knew the girl was probably just drunk and we ended up laughing about the whole thing. -JJ www.thechurning.com This article has been viewed 3591 times in the last 3 years Peter: 2nd Nov 2005 - 20:31 GMT hahahaha... when stuff like this happens, i prefer the smug/brazen approach... i just elbow my wife sitting next to me, chuckle and say something like "hey baby, this weird bitch is pinching my ass! check it out!" that always does the trick. not that i get my ass pinched alot, but it happens. it seems that some folks are attracted to the challenge of hitting on married folk, and id assume this is true, as ive gotten hit on at least 2-3 times as often after donning the wedding ring than i did before. odd, that. its the ones like the girl that unabashedly said "so...?" when i said "im married" (while pointing to my ring, figuring that would make my point loud and clear) that freak me out. i cant imagine why theyd be attracted to the sort of guy that would go for that sort of come-on, but thats just me. anyway, thanks for the story :) elaine: 3rd Nov 2005 - 08:09 GMT "lets call her patty because that's her name" hahahaha cool. JJ: 3rd Nov 2005 - 17:06 GMT Thanks Peter - You're so right. A wedding ring is like a magnet. Right on Elaine - I figured she'd never find this, so there's no need to give her anonymity. Comment on this article.. 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Peter: 2nd Nov 2005 - 20:31 GMT

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